The Sob Count this week was 5, which considering I only caught 2 episodes must be some sort of record. Things that made me cry:
1. Steph throwing the stuff in Max's grave.
2. After the harrowing experience of Max's funeral, OB putting on the DVD of Max/OB/Tom happy days was enough to make me cry because of seeing Max.
3. OB saying goodbye to Tom - why the gods of Hollyoaks, why?! I know Tom's a great little actor and you want him to stick around, but NO. He belongs with OB. This is madness!
4. OB seeing Max in the doorway to Drive and Buy as he left - leaving behind Max, Tom, Hollyoaks and me, Goddamnit.
5. The saddest thing I have ever seen on television, and I say that without exaggeration and including the time Lucy died on ER: OB walking away, cue the old school Hollyoaks theme tune from waaaay back in the dim recesses of my adolescence, and a montage of Max/OB classics, right back to when they (and me, come to that) were schookids over the credits. Wailed. Wailed. INCONSOLABLE.
Monkey has now threatened to revoke my Hollyoaks watching rights. In this 
demand, he is aware he is forfeiting his Emmerdale watching rights, but I think he thinks it's worth it just to stop me sobbing into my chenin blanc and regalling him with tales of my mispent youth in the company of OB and Max. As he mopped up after me this evening (and I actually did sob so much over the closing theme music that I did that whole gulping thing you do when you're genuinely in distress and not just a bit sad), he remarked that he thought I felt more strongly about the characters in Hollyoaks than I did about real people. I think he may be right. Does that make me a sociopath? I think maybe it does.
demand, he is aware he is forfeiting his Emmerdale watching rights, but I think he thinks it's worth it just to stop me sobbing into my chenin blanc and regalling him with tales of my mispent youth in the company of OB and Max. As he mopped up after me this evening (and I actually did sob so much over the closing theme music that I did that whole gulping thing you do when you're genuinely in distress and not just a bit sad), he remarked that he thought I felt more strongly about the characters in Hollyoaks than I did about real people. I think he may be right. Does that make me a sociopath? I think maybe it does.Of course, the laugh count is at 1, as well. Steph, holding a shoebox of photos by Max's grave. Darren joins her.
Darren: What's in the box?
Steph [confused]: Max.
Gods of Hollyoaks - you didn't grant my wish of Tom and OB happily ever after. Please grant my wish of Steph and Darren happily ever after. I know they're stepsiblings, but everyone knows that in Hollyoaks shit like that is only temporary anyway. Please...they're great.
Well anyway. In honour of the occasion I have finally (after a decade in thier company) learned Max and OB's real names.
Dear Matt Littler and Darren Jeffries: I salute you. So long, and thanks for all the fish.
No comments:
Post a Comment