Watching the Hollyoaks omnibus while nursing a hangover is a tradition of mine stretching back to before I legally should have been drinking anything hangover-inducing, but this morning I felt I had broken through the fourth wall. Lying in bed, eating toast and drinking tea and generally combatting a ruthless hangover which I think demonstrates encroaching age, everyone on screen seemed to be suffering as grievously as me. Let's see: Mike, Zoe, Sarah, all the McQueens but especially Michaela, Fletch, Sasha and Russ were all incapacitated at some point or another. Sasha in particular looked like a reflection of my ill self as she crawled from lying to sitting positions. When she complained that people thought they looked like druggies on account of their trashed next-morning appearance, Fletch replied: "Isn't everyone? Out of it is a normal look." To which I say: apparently so.
In other news - Summer, step away from OB. It's lovely you can sing, it's lovely that your borderline obsessive stalking of Andrew Lloyd Webber paid off, it's all lovely, but you pop OB on the next bus to Chester, or else I won't be responsible for my actions. Don't mess with me today, girl, I promise you my head is more than sore. You may get the part, but you don't get the boy. End of.
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